Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nerves. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Waiting? Yes. Definitely More Waiting.
I take that back, there will be more waiting. For the twentieth time, the time of closing has been changed. I am no longer surprised at this point. Because the "IRS did not send over some paperwork" in time, the closing will not be tomorrow. Due to the fact that I have school on Thursday nights, the closing will not be the day after tomorrow. So the closing is on Friday. Maybe. I will not be surprised if it is moved to sometime early next year.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Fear of the Unknown
In approximately one week and one day I am purchasing an apartment. The thought of this makes me extremely nervous when I want to be excited. It makes me nauseous when I want to be happy. In short, it makes me feel like I am on an airplane. An airplane going to the first day of school. You may wonder why I have these feelings. Well, it's partly because I've never done this before, and partly because my boyfriend and I will be living in different cities. For the most part. I won't tell you when or where for my own safety.
My boyfriend and I lived together and saw each other every day for two years except for my trips to New York City, Alaska, Seattle, and Scotland. But almost every day. Now I am living in limbo, waiting for this purchase to go through. Honestly, I am afraid that at my closing I will vomit on my mortgage lender. And I feel so guilty because I'm supposed to feel happy. This blog is going to chronicle this very strange, and what I imagine will sometimes be lonely, journey. At age 13 I turned to the internet because I went to a small southern school and all of the girls I knew were going to movies to be with boys and I really just wanted to play Legos without being made fun of. The internet provided a safe haven where I made friends and developed a sense of purpose. So again, I am turning to the internet for comfort and to ease the sting of loneliness.
So as I sit here, contemplating my life that is about to change, I wait and hope that I have made and will continue to make decisions that will cause everything to work out OK.
My boyfriend and I lived together and saw each other every day for two years except for my trips to New York City, Alaska, Seattle, and Scotland. But almost every day. Now I am living in limbo, waiting for this purchase to go through. Honestly, I am afraid that at my closing I will vomit on my mortgage lender. And I feel so guilty because I'm supposed to feel happy. This blog is going to chronicle this very strange, and what I imagine will sometimes be lonely, journey. At age 13 I turned to the internet because I went to a small southern school and all of the girls I knew were going to movies to be with boys and I really just wanted to play Legos without being made fun of. The internet provided a safe haven where I made friends and developed a sense of purpose. So again, I am turning to the internet for comfort and to ease the sting of loneliness.
So as I sit here, contemplating my life that is about to change, I wait and hope that I have made and will continue to make decisions that will cause everything to work out OK.
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